Slow Down to Speed Up

"I'm not loving you way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
I'm in love with you, but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me all the way home

So you never know, never never know
Never know enough, 'til it's over love
Til we lose control, system overload
Screaming: No, no, no, n-no

I'm not loving you way I wanted to
See I wanna move, but can't escape from you
So I keep it low, keep a secret code
So everybody else don't have to know"

Growing up it seems like everyone is vaguely taught the same thing. Respect your elders, do good in school, start a career, and start a family. This is the path that many follow/followed, including myself. However, do you truly have time to find yourself amongst these guidelines? I can't say that did. I only did what I thought I was suppose to. Well everything but start a family. Graduated school, started my career, married the girl that I was with FOREVER. Not until that defining moment of a long term commitment where I questioned who I was. To keep things short my ex and I parted ways 3 years ago and it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Its been a long hard struggle. Ups and downs. Joy and pain. Happiness and loneliness. But its taken 3 years for me to define who I am and know what I want and need in my life. It was scary at first because I didn't know how to be single.

But now that I have accepted it... Its been great! I am getting to know myself and appreciating life and being proud of things I accomplished by myself. Whether I find another significant other or not is not a question on my mind anymore. Sure I have a crush and really like somebody right now, many of you know who this person is, but I've learned not to react to these feelings and just let things unfold. Its a new time now and I'm done with following guidelines. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Every event that you encounter, joyful or tragic, makes you who you are. Instead of fighting or fixing. Embrace and learn. Make your own guidelines as you go and go at your own pace. Set your own time and speed limit. Once you can define yourself and be happy... THE REST WILL COME EASILY AND NATURALLY!